• Lety

  • Daca da, lasa-ti adresa de email, pentru a ma urmari mai bine!

    Join 4 other followers

Epilogue

You were my blackest dark and brightest light

You were my day, you were my (k)night

Gone. Before we had a chance to fight

Now nothing ever does seem right


Advertisements

Knock knock!

(more…)

Addicted

I’m your balance and your precipice…

I am your weakness and your strength…

I can lift you up, or I can let you fall…

And it’s empowering and scary, but the rush… Oh, the rush is irresistible.

But I could never let you fall. I would never bring you down. Because you are my balance and my precipice. You are my weakness and my strength and you can lift me up or let me fall.

…But you could never let me fall…

The Art of Getting By

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life!”. – I always loved that quote. Never really realized how true it was, though…

Today I’ll smile and say “I’m fine!”. I’ll go out, have coffee, sleep less, wake up early, put my make-up on, get pretty, wear red shoes and red lipstick and a red bag. And I’ll wear a smile along with the dark sunglasses. It won’t be fake, it won’t be sad, it’ll just be mine. Because “happy girls are the prettiest girls”. Audrey Hepburn once said that. I believe it.

Someone once told me that “we are a creation of our past”. Someone smart. Someone I loved.

So if there’s one good thing about me, it’s that I only make the same mistake once. I’ll learn, I’ll adjust, I’ll prove that the person I am now is a better one. A more mature one. A happier one. I’ll make my past count so then I can say “I owe you one”.

I’ll make new memories, new pictures, meet new people, I’ll be surprised, I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll be happy and sad but at the end of the day it would have been a good day. A new day. I’ll be a good friend, I’ll talk more, listen more, give and ask for advice. I’ll keep being painfully honest and not because some people deserve it, but because it’s in their best interest.

I’ll wear more dresses and skirts and high heels and lace and satin when I go to bed and  in the morning, not because someone is next to me, but because it’s good to feel pretty. I’ll paint my nails red and blue and french and over again, I’ll light candles and buy flowers, because when you buy them it’s not because you’re sad, but because it’s nice to always have flowers and a scented room.

I’ll get by. And not one day at a time, but gracefully and happily and enjoying the days of my life. Not alone, not sad, but with a lot of friends and morning coffees and talk and laughter.

And I’ll smile, because I have everything to smile about. I’ll be the prettiest girl ever!

 

 

 

Not today

Don’t ask me “how are you?”. Don’t make me smile a fake smile and say “I’m fine”. Because I’m not, really.

When you believe in something, you fight. Fight with all your heart, your words, and if words are not enough, use your nails and your teeth. You have to be strong to get through a storm, and weak people stay down. You wanna know why? Because they don’t fight hard enough. You don’t just come to say “I’m afraid”, you face things head on and you deal with them.

You make decisions, you take actions, you deal with the consequences. Because every action has a reaction and you better believe Newton when he says “It’s equal in strength and opposite in direction”. You better not do something that’s gonna bring you down when it bounces back.

There’s a say that “good things come to those who wait”. I believe waiting is when you have something to hope for. When you tell yourself there’s a chance that your wait will not be in vain. That’ll be worth it. Waiting for a bus, or waiting for food to be served, or waiting for rain to come on a hot day. So I guess I don’t much believe in waiting.

I believe in taking chances, taking the wrong turn just to see where it’ll get you, I believe in risk and emotion and “hey, let’s get the hell out of here and go to the middle of freaking nowhere!”. I believe in love and the kind of compromise that comes from the heart.

I wish I could believe in second chances. To think that things are not going to take the same wrong turn twice. Or at least that they’ll take a different wrong turn. At least then you have something else to fight for and another challenge ahead. I used to think that everything can be overcome with love and a smile and make-up sex, and that everything looks brighter in the light of day. Cats are always blacker at night.

Take a breath. Think. Prioritize. These are the only important things you need to do in your life. Beside eating chips and crying your eyes out to some corny movie. Breathe slowly, smell the flowers, take a chance, risk it all for nothing, and then smile. Think about the good things and the bad things, and balance them out and then do it again until they add up to more than zero. Prioritize, make concessions, and then make some more, until you get what you want. Fight, fight for what you want, or you don’t want it bad enough. And you’re weak. Don’t care. What matters what others say, nothing matters more than what’s in your heart, not even what’s on your mind.

Today, I’m gonna let it all go. I won’t believe, I won’t feel, I’ll go against the current as hard as I can, just to keep me occupied. I don’t make sacrifices, and I don’t care, and I don’t want to think. NOT TODAY!

%d bloggers like this: